Remember Me
by Memento Mori1
Summary: You never forget your first love, but what if they forget you?


Title: Remember Me

Author: Memento Mori

Rating: G

Summary: You never forget your first real love . . . but what if they forget you? 

Disclaimer: The characters - who are not named here in any way - are not mine.   


For the record, this was written as B/A romance, but I suppose it can fit most other combinations as well . . . 

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I thought I saw you today. I knew it wasn't possible, but for a moment I really thought you had come back. I thought I saw you in the street, a flash of your dark hair retreating into the distance. Your distinctive walk, the way you moved smoothly and effortlessly. I looked again, and you were gone. Instantly I knew it hadn't been you. There was no way. But for a minute I hoped, I really thought . . .

I thought I heard your laugh today. I turned, half-expecting to see you behind me, watching me with a wry smile on your face. But you weren't there. I should have known it wasn't you because of the way you laughed. The genuinely happy laughter that I only heard when you were around me, because only then were you really comfortable. Only then did you let down your walls so that I could see you. The sound, your laugh, had been the wind, or a memory. Just a memory.

I thought I smelled you today. Your scent, the one I came to associate with you and your presence. The way you reminded me of . . . darkness. I know that is not possible. No one can smell like the dark, but somehow you did. It wasn't bad darkness, evil darkness, but hidden, safe darkness. Where differences go unnoticed and you are safe because no one sees you. That darkness was your home for so long. Did it scare you at first, the way it scared me? Did you grow used to it, let it become your home, as I did? You must have, because you endured it for so long. I couldn't imagine doing that until I met you. Knew you. It wasn't until I really knew you that I saw you were different. And then it was too late.

I watched the sun rise today, and I thought of you. How we could never have done that together. Fate, destiny, doesn't allow it. Do you miss not being able to watch the sun rise? I saw the colors in the sky, and I thought of what you were missing. I wished that I could have shown you, let you see this, but it is impossible. I wanted to give you this, something beautiful, but it is not possible. 

Do you still think of me, wherever you are? Do you miss me? Do you think that you see me, and then realize that it was a mirage, a memory, a wish? Do I haunt your dreams as you haunt mine? Your face, your voice, your eyes. The feel of you touching me, holding me, keeping the demons away. You did, you know. You kept the worst demons away for so long, all that you could. When you couldn't stop them, I saw it in your eyes. The pain, the wish that you could protect me from the evilness. I wanted to tell you that I am used to it. I have to be. If I am not, then I will certainly die. My life is fighting evil, and if I am not used to it, I will die. 

Still, it would have been nice to be protected, kept safe by you. But I would have had to let you take my pain, and I would never, could never do that to you. You have so much of your own, and I could not add to that. You did so much for me, and I can never repay you for that. You saved me. Not just my life, though you did that many times, too. You saved me. My soul. You gave me life through your love, and that kept me alive. It hurt so much, and it still does, but the pain lets me know that I still live. Without you. I hope the pain never goes away, because I know that I will not see you for a long time, if ever. As long as it remains, some part of you will still live inside me. 

I just hope that it is the same for you. I would wish that you remember me, think of me, and know that I am thinking of you. 

But somehow I know you are.   
  


A/N: Reviews are the nectar of the gods, and will be reciprocated!


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